Rihanna
Rihanna has had four albums in her short career, a string of hits, sell out world tours, yet despite all this, her clothes seem to be falling off her back! We’re joking, she just keeps wearing really revealing outfits, which is absolutely fine. She outsold Adeleeeeeeeeeeeee in the UK. She’s had millions of downloads. She’s absolutely slaying it.
But Rihanna’s hunger is not sated. She needs more success and another arena to showcase her talent. So she’s packed her Louis Vuitton bindle and has headed to Hollywood. This summer, Rihanna will be appearing as Raikes in Battleship the we shit you not, blockbuster adaptation of…a boardgame. It took a while to imagine how they would adapt a plastic peg based strategy game into a summer blocky, but then we saw the trailer and realised that Hollywood ain’t no fool. It employed the holy trinity of ingredients – hot girls, explosions and Liam Neeson, all topped off with cavalier attitude to narrative structure. Giant aliens, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker. Cool yeah?
If there is one thing we don’t understand about Rihanna – It’s her continued support of Chris Brown, the ex-boyfriend who beat her up in 2009. At the time of writing, Brown had appeared on a remix of the song Birthday Cake, and everyone went ‘eh?’ You know, we don’t pretend to understand other people's relationships. But the fact is – Chris Brown is a swaggering, violent bell-end. He beat her up. He is a coward that hides behind stupid fortune cookie wisdom. That the music industry has welcomed him back with open arms is a farce. He should have been kicked out. He’s a stupid, stupid, horrible scum-bag. Rihanna isn’t.
But Rihanna’s hunger is not sated. She needs more success and another arena to showcase her talent. So she’s packed her Louis Vuitton bindle and has headed to Hollywood. This summer, Rihanna will be appearing as Raikes in Battleship the we shit you not, blockbuster adaptation of…a boardgame. It took a while to imagine how they would adapt a plastic peg based strategy game into a summer blocky, but then we saw the trailer and realised that Hollywood ain’t no fool. It employed the holy trinity of ingredients – hot girls, explosions and Liam Neeson, all topped off with cavalier attitude to narrative structure. Giant aliens, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker. Cool yeah?
If there is one thing we don’t understand about Rihanna – It’s her continued support of Chris Brown, the ex-boyfriend who beat her up in 2009. At the time of writing, Brown had appeared on a remix of the song Birthday Cake, and everyone went ‘eh?’ You know, we don’t pretend to understand other people's relationships. But the fact is – Chris Brown is a swaggering, violent bell-end. He beat her up. He is a coward that hides behind stupid fortune cookie wisdom. That the music industry has welcomed him back with open arms is a farce. He should have been kicked out. He’s a stupid, stupid, horrible scum-bag. Rihanna isn’t.
